The future of smoking: USB-powered Jii Lighter is here! (And it’s kind of insane)

The future of smoking: USB-powered Jii Lighter is here! (And it’s kind of insane)

If you’ve been hanging around the Internet as long as we have, there’s a good chance you’ve seen it all–or almost all. From sleepy cats to pandagators , it sometimes seems that there’s not much left to surprise us, and then a Japanese commercial comes along and proves us wrong!

Jii Lighters aren’t particularly revolutionary in design–they’re just electric lighters that can be charged via USB–but when it comes to marketing, we think they may be light years ahead of the competition.

The future of smoking: USB-powered Jii Lighter is here! (And it’s kind of insane)

Existing on a level of absurdity that we really didn’t think existed outside of Takeshi’s Castle, the Jii Lighter commercial not only introduces us to the smoker’s new best friend, but also shows how it was invented, Frakenstein’s Monster-style. Born of electricity and, seemingly, a hot lava bath, Jii bursts out of the darkness and into a brilliant, 1980s-neon-rainbow of sparkling color. Not content to simply be the greatest lighter in the world (his words, not mine), Jii also insists on singing and dancing!

We’d tell the pink electric lighter to sit down and shut up, but damn if he’s not a great singer too. Don’t believe us? Watch the video below! We’ve provided a translation of the lyrics as well.

In this remote laboratory,
A new hero is born.
Jii…. Jii….
Jiiiiiiiiiiiii
Alright! Let’s do this!
A B C D E F Jii
I am the lighter of the future Jii Jii Jii
O P Q R S T USB
The USB lighter Jii Jii Jii
The “Jii” of Jii is the “Jii” of jisedai [next generation] (The new, safe Jii)
The “Jii” of Jii is the “Jii” of jidai [the times, the era] (The ecologically-minded Jii)
The “Jii” of Jii is the “Jii” of jiyuu [freedom] (The Jii who wants to be a pirate)
The “Jii” of Jii is the “Jii” of jigoro [gigolo]
Jii Jii Jii Sparking up Puffing away
Jii Jii Jii Sparking up Puffing away
I’ve lit a ton of fires and gotten tired
Taking off my shorts and taking a nap in the USB port
See I’m powered-up again Slider Ignition
Don’t care about the wind The unequaled lighter Jii
I want to unite with everyone
A B C D E F Jii
I am the lighter of the future Jii Jii Jii
O P Q R S T USB
The USB lighter Jii Jii Jii
Jii Jii Jii Sparking up Puffing away
Jii Jii Jii Sparking up Puffing away
You’re just disposable Toss, toss, toss you away
Macchiko-san [“Match”ko], waiiiiit!
I’m different, you know!
Oh! A bouquet!
No matter how many times, no matter how often
I charge until I’ve lit a fire in your heart
Ah! How lovely!
Easy on the environment, too, Jii
A B C D E F Jii
I am the lighter of the future
Everyone on earth I LOVE YOUSB
USB Lighter Jii Jii Jii
Jii Jii Jii
Jiiiiii
Jiiiiii
Jiiiiii

Well, whether you’re a smoker or not, we have a feeling you probably want a Jii Lighter of your own. Unfortunately, it looks like the product isn’t currently available outside of Japan, though there are a few other USB electric lighters on Amazon. If you live in Japan, though, you can order a Jii Lighter in one of five colors (pink, black, yellow, white, blue) from Brand Passage (Japanese only). One lighter will cost you 600 yen (very roughly US$6).

For the rest of you, just keeping singing “Jii Jii Jii” and maybe one will magically appear on your desk at work. Hey, you never know until you try!

[ Read in Japanese ]

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The future of smoking: USB-powered Jii Lighter is here! (And it’s kind of insane)