International marriages are becoming more and more commonplace in Japan as well as the world at large, which is definitely a good thing, because unlike boring regular marriages, international marriages are a veritable cornucopia of hilarious cultural misunderstandings and sitcom-style hilarity.
It’s no surprise then, that Japanese women married to foreign men – already considered the sillier gender of the species even without the cultural barrier – have no shortage of hilarious anecdotes about their significant others’ odd behavior.
Here’s a smattering of our favorite picks from Matome Naver:
“My husband and I were on the train when another foreigner got on. ‘Oh gross! A foreigner!’ says my husband, who seemed to have forgotten he’s one too.”
“Whenever my husband finds a particularly round rock, he picks it up and screams ‘Japanese!’ at the top of his lungs. When we get home he adds it to his collection, pours water over the whole pile and calls it a zen garden.”
“My British husband loves cockroaches (they don’t have them in Britain, apparently). ‘What a beauty!’ he says, when he sees one. ‘How can such a wonderful creature be so hated?’”
“Whenever we go back to my husband’s home country, he complains about how dirty and inconvenient it is. I don’t mind it at all though.”
“My Hawaiian husband loves to read Doraemon . He cracks up whenever he reads it. I see him shaking his head and muttering, ‘Oh, Nobita-kun. What are we going to do with you?’”
“One day my husband suddenly blurted out, ‘I think I’m going to try going gay!’ After my initial shock, it dawned on me he was trying to say he wanted to try going geinou (get into show business).”
▼ Foreign men aren’t the only weirdos though. Here’s a Japanese woman upset that her husband threw away her favorite stinky old umbilical cord. Her favorite one!
“My French husband loves sweet bread and he buys some strange Rilakkuma -themed sweet bun for breakfast every morning. All the women in the office secretly laugh at him, but he saves up the proofs of purchase and gets me cute plates and things.”
“I found out my husband was secretly buying natto because he actually likes it.”
“My husband breaks crackers into his miso soup. Hey buddy, that’s no minestrone!”
“My guy loves Japanese history, but he can’t get any of the shoguns names right, even though he talks about them like they’re his close pals.”
“He’s unusually familiar with Japanese celebrities. He’ll say, ‘That little Mana Ashida is soooo adorable!’ and ‘Hibari Misoro is pure genius!’ I really wonder where he’s getting all this information.”
“My British husband loves niku jaga. He likes mashed potatoes too, but given the choice, he goes for niku jaga every time.” (Note: this is actually not strange at all, as most western cultures have something near-equivalent to niku jaga meat and potato stew, but the Japanese don’t seem to realize this.)
“My American husband will eat absolutely anything. He sometimes requests pancakes for dinner.” This man is a genius!
Matome Naver also provided a space for married foreign men to vent their gripes about their Japanese wives’ oddities, but to be perfectly honest, it was a depressing wasteland of things that they really ought to be telling to their therapists, so we decided we’ll save those for a more appropriate time. You know, like Valentine’s Day or something.
Source: Matome Naver
Photos from Japanese film My Darling is a Foreigner, via YouTube